i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Randomize
