bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
