chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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