im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
