i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
