Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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