you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
