Little spoons don't ask big questions
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize