I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
