What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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