Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
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