So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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