Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
