omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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