He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
