The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
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