He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Randomize
