i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
