i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
