lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
