I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
