Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My dick has a subreddit
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
