so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
