Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I seem to have left my pride at pride
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
This house was built for laser tag.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
