last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
