His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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