ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize