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That's how twitter works, right?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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