i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
