So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
