Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize