all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
