dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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