Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Tornado booty call.. dedication
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
