Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
