Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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