worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
