i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
