My brain says no but my pants say off.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
