He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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