Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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