I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
you inspire me to be a worse person
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize