you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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