do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just cropdusted the office
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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