Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
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