I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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