Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
