That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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