We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
false alarm, still single
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