One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
