I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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