they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
