john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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