i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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