I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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