I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
i think my cat just said my name.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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