I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
