All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
