speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
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so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
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