I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
