You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
