my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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