Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I need moral support for this bender
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
