38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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