i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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