two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i was born a porn star she said
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
